Movie spam filter

[fancycwabs]

Back when I was in high school in the 1980s, the pretentious side of me came up with a few rules for deciding which movies to Not See:

• No movie featuring Sylvester Stallone
• No movie for which I could get a souvenir plastic cup at McDonald's
• No movie featuring Kenny Loggins on the soundtrack

There may have been more (something about Tom Cruise?). I forget. In any case, Stallone disappeared for a while and Loggins disappeared for good, apparently. And I stopped using those rules a long time ago.

Anyway, times change, and the standard for lackluster or outright bad movies has changed, and I need a new list. So for the forseeable future:

• I will not see any movie directed by Uwe Boll, nor any of the next three movies featuring actors who appear in a movie directed by Uwe Boll.

You hear that, Matthew Lillard? Ben Kingsley? Ray Liotta? Whatever your next three projects are, you can count me out. (Okay, Ben Kingsley has his post-BloodRayne three taken care of, but I SHAN'T SEE THEM.) I might make an exception for Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny only because it was shot before BloodRayne, but it depends on how I'm feeling that day--consider it letting you off with a warning, Meatloaf.

Who's with me?

Comments

[rabswom.livejournal.com]

I've never heard of any of his movies. I guess that I'm lucky.

I used to like Ben Kingsley. I think I lost respect after he made that movie (Species? Too lazy for a google) about the bug-alien lady who went around looking for a mate. So I watch Sneakers and pretend that it all never happened.

[annicat.livejournal.com]

Alone in the Dark is easily the worst movie that I've ever seen, but I'm certain that I will be subjected to more Uwe Boll in the future.

[magicninja.livejournal.com]

Oh god. Nothing with Jack Black in it, fucking EVER. The lone exception to this is The Jackal. I really, really dislike Jack Black. The first time I saw The Jackal, I almost shut it off when he came on screen.