Things I didn't know about literature department:

Chess was the musical adaptation of Middlemarch.

Why it's sometimes lonely being smart...

There's a thread on the local theatre board about plays examining "universal truths," to which a couple of folks replied that they didn't believe in the concept of "universal truth," and I retorted that they simply hadn't seen my one man show, F=G*(m₁*m₂/r²).

The virtual crickets at that brilliant joke explain precisely why theatre majors suck.