"I have a perfect role in mind for you."

Last night we had callbacks for 12 Angry Men, which is likely to become 12 Angry Jurors by the time it's over. Ultimately, I ended up reading for 1 (foreman), 2 (wimp), 3 (GUILTY!), 5(ghetto), 7(baseball), 8(hero), and 11(immigrant). We were told to not expect any news until January, as we only had seven or eight angry men to fill all the roles and the director needed to make some calls.

Later I got a call informing me that the director was considering me for one of three roles, but had to see what else happened with the cast before she could tell me which role specifically. Those three roles were 1 (foreman), 5 (ghetto) and 6 (fatty). I told her that I hadn't even read for fatty, and she assured me that yes, I had. Apparently I'd read for him twice while I wasn't paying attention, and had done such a good job that I was on the short list. "He's a good character!" she said, "He's fat, and dumb, and a defender of the weak and frail old guy when someone attacks him."

I told her that since she hadn't made me a specific offer, I wouldn't give her a specific answer. This marks the third show in as many months that I've been given the fat jokes or been "perfect" for the fat guy with no lines in. Clearly my long-term theatrical goals would be better served by turning down productions for a while and getting addicted to crystal meth instead.

(no subject)

I was gonna do the meme du jour but decided instead that it would be more interesting and like real life to ask everyone to tell me a lie, instead.