Ebeneezer Scrooge--Drunken Master

[fancycwabs]

Tonight's Oliver! rehearsal is dialect (I learned a pretty good cockney accent doing Major Barbara in college, so it shouldn't be too difficult) and combat--I get to toss some kids around, and kill my wife onstage.¹

I'm wondering how precisely they plan on my murdering Amy/Nancy, as the script merely states HE KILLS HER. Strangled? Stabbed? Bludgeoned? Shot? In Dickens' book, Nancy goes for Bill's gun and he beats her to a pile of gore straight out of Sin City, but I don't think that's so good for a family production.

I've suggested that I come at her with my bonkin' stick, she traps it and deftly takes it away from me, followed by a hook kick that connects squarely with my jaw, knocking me off balance. While I'm dazed, she can deliver a punishing series of punches and kicks that sends me to the floor, and when she comes around to finish me off I stab her with stiletto that had been concealed in my boot. If the theatre had any fly space, we could put some wire work into it, as well.

I don't think they're gonna go for it, but if you ask me there should be more kung-fu in Dickens. If Scrooge was visited by his old sensei Jacob Marley and warned that tonight he would have to fight three ghosts, that would be a Christmas story for the ages. 

¹ Note to the NSA and others reading this who might get the wrong damn impression. I have no intention of actually killing my wife, onstage or otherwise. You people, seriously.