The thing I wish would return:

[fancycwabs]

alphadavenport's love of Doritos 3Ds put me in mind of the primary food item that I would love to see return: Jolly Ranchers Freeze Pops. Like ordinary freeze pops, or Otter Pops or what have you, but tasted just like Jolly Ranchers. These were so short-lived and rare that you can barely find mention of them on the internets today, and for a short while after they were gone, I thought I'd imagined them in a fever dream.