Apologies in advance.

[fancycwabs]

The announcement that they're creating a stage version of Gone With The Wind (again) puts ideas in my head. Bad ideas.

So without further ado,



SCARLETT: Rhett, if you go where shall I go? What shall I do?

RHETT: Frankly, my dear...
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
NO, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
WHERE YOU GO
WHAT YOU DO
WHO YOU SEE
SORRY, MA'AM
YOU CAN COVER UP YOUR PETTICOAT AND EAT VIRGINIA HAM
YOU CAN HAVE ANOTHER BABY AND THEN PUSH IT IN A PRAM
I'M SO SORRY YOU'VE DISCOVERED THAT YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN A SHAM,
BUT I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

SCARLETT: But, Rhett...

Enter GHOSTS OF CONFEDERATE ARMY, who join in singing.

HE DON'T GIVE A DAMN
NO, HE DON'T GIVE A DAMN
IF YOU LIVE
IF YOU DIE
IF YOU STARVE
SORRY, MA'AM
YOU COULD TRY MATRICULATION HERE BUT YOU'VE FAILED THE EXAM
OR TRY GROWING SWEET POTATOES WHICH ARE ALSO KNOWN AS YAMS
WHEN YOU PINE FOR ASHLEY WILKES WHO AS IT TURNS OUT IS A MAN,
REMEMBER
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.

RHETT continues, solo.

I ALWAYS LOVED YOU
IN SPITE OF YOUR FLIGHTY WAYS
REMEMBER WHEN
I THREATENED TO SQUISH YOUR HEAD
GOOD TIMES

BUT NOW
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
NO, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
EVERY DAY
EVERY NIGHT
ALL MY LIFE
SORRY, MA'AM
THOUGH YOUR LIFE AND ALL YOUR DREAMS JUST HAVEN'T TURNED OUT LIKE YOU PLANNED
I AM LEAVING YOU AND TAKING WHAT MILD DIGNITY I CAN
SO YOU REALIZE TOO LATE THAT YOU MIGHT LOVE ME AS I AM
I DON'T GIVE A DAMN

Big finish.

NO I DON'T
NO I DON'T
GIVE A DAMN!

Exit.

Comments

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