"You whoreson malt-horse drudge." "Oh my delicate sensibilities!"

[fancycwabs]

Last night at rehearsal, I was informed that a board member of the theatre group had expressed some issues with the harsh language in the show. For those of you keeping score at home, that's The Taming of The Shrew, with no fewer than three ordained ministers involved in the production, with no more vile language than you'd expect to see on an episode of The Simpsons.

With the exception, that is, of one particular ad-lib that I deliver offstage, to announce my presence. When Petruchio and Kate arrive back at home after the wedding, there should be some noise offstage to announce Petruchio's arrival. Seeing as Petruchio is about to go into a tirade of Shakespearing swearing, I figured that some contemporary swearing would set the tone for the scene, and I've been announcing my presence with a well-timed "SON OF A...." or "MOTHERFU..." which I intended to substitute with more age-appropriate exclamations for that time when we have a paying audience. Last night I substituted the board member's name, and you'd be surprised at how much better shouting "MATTHEW LIPSCOMB" fit in a line of iambic pentameter than "SON OF A BITCH."


Motherfucker still fits really well in, for those of you who need to write a sonnet in the near future.

Comments

You're a genius, you are

[resk.livejournal.com]

"Shakespearing" is my new favorite term.

Matthew Lipscomb is my new favorite swear.

Re: You're a genius, you are

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

I actually intended that word to be "Shakespearean." Can't edit the post now that you've caught it--but for everyone else, that's supposed to be "Shakespearean swearing."

You're still welcome to use "Shakespearing," for whatever you see fit. And "Matthew Lipscomb" for all your swearing needs.

Re: You're a genius, you are

[resk.livejournal.com]

I actually figured that you meant "Shakespearean," but I'm very glad that you typo'd. "Shakespearean" is old hat. "Shakespearing" is very . . . Web 2.0? Let's all use it in a sentence!

I was Shakespearing into town, when I saw a fair maiden yonder.
She appeared to me to be in a state of hopeless ponder.
She looked so lovely in her corset, I could not be more fonder.
I was taken aback, yet excited, when she asked for me to bond her.

[spatch]

One of my favorite quotes from my friend Crazy Jenny is "Haiku is about a zillion times easier to write once you realize 'you motherfucker' is five syllables."

[resk.livejournal.com]

Damn I hate haikus. They annoy me to no end.

Motherfuckers, on the other hand, are hilarious.

[stealth-cat.livejournal.com]

how many times can you sing motherfuckers in one song?

[stealth-cat.livejournal.com]

sorry, singular.

[resk.livejournal.com]

So far, 6. But the ultimate answer is "infinite."

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

You should have come down to see Jerry Springer: The Opera. That would have answered that question, and many more.

[stealth-cat.livejournal.com]

resk wrote a song that has “motherfucker” in it 6 times. It is now stuck in my head and I cannot sing it out loud since I’m at work. ARGH!

[resk.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you like that song!

You can always sing "Mothergoosers" instead.

I tried to teach it to M "G" W and Glenn, figuring it was easy, since it's the same 4 chords over and over again. I had forgotten about the wack-0 time changes.

Whoops!

[spatch]

Parliament Funkadelic has always been partial to the term "mothersucker" but I've always said "motherscratcher" after seeing Raising Arizona.

[resk.livejournal.com]

I friggin' LOVE "motherscratcher." In fact, I used it in a text to annicat just this past Saturday. It's perfect for when you've already used "fuckin," but you need a little extra oomph.

[stealth-cat.livejournal.com]

it's true. he sho' 'nuff did!

[resk.livejournal.com]

Yo! Can you please friend atothek? She'd do a lotta laughy laughy at this post if she were able to see it.

Thanks!

And if/when you do so, comment here, so I can tell her to looky!

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Comment?

[atothek.livejournal.com]

I think Petruchio is a dirty enough word as it is.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah?! Well kiss my Petruchio!

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

"...you'd be surprised at how much better shouting "MATTHEW LIPSCOMB" fit in a line of iambic pentameter than "SON OF A BITCH."

I think SOB works fine in that soliloquy from The Taming of the Shrew. You know the one:

"Heart breaker, soul shaker
I've been told about you
Steam roller, the midnight shoulder
What they been saying must be true
Red hot mama, oh that charmer
Time's come to pay your dues
Now you're messing with a son of a bitch."