Too many commas in the bio.

[fancycwabs]

I needed to submit a headshot and bio to Chatterbox for their web page. I've always wanted to do one that was actually interesting reading instead of just a list of crap I've done, but was usually hampered by the 50 word limit typical to program bios. Chatterbox, on the other hand, provides limitless space for the little details that make things worth reading. Not that there's a whole lot of reading bios on obscure audio theater websites (which is why I'm posting it here, too), but still.

Fancycwabs first started working in audio by pretending to be a radio announcer and singing songs about the bathroom habits of his immediate family and invented food dishes into a cassette recorder at a very young age. Later, in high school, he created a potentially offensive version of Robinson Crusoe as a project for an exploration of Freudian psychology, in which the famous castaway developed a multiple personality disorder and took on the additional personalities of a deep sea explorer and a bumbling French detective, known as Robinson Cousteau and Robinson Clouseau, respectively.

These formative projects are lost to the ravages of time, or at least he hopes so.

His stage career began while he was a student at Georgia Tech, where, to his deep shame, he was twice winner of the William Shatner acting award. He has appeared in productions in Alabama, Georgia, and all around Memphis, including, recently, Measure for Measure, Guys and Dolls, The Taming of The Shrew, A Few Good Men, and Oliver! where he got the opportunity of a lifetime in strangling his beloved wife, Mrs. Cwabs.

He was once upstaged by a cockroach.

Comments

Nice bio!

[resk.livejournal.com]

One correction:

a exploration

n

Re: Nice bio!

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

I don't know what you're talking about, mister. And I certainly wouldn't edit my bio after your correction to make it look as if I'd gotten it right the first time.

bernnaners

[resk.livejournal.com]

Arright, den.

[hatgrlstargazer.livejournal.com]

Fun! I spent a few moments trying to figure out why invented food dishes have bathroom habits, so I might suggest reversing the order of those two items.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

I shan't edit that one out here at the risk of ruining your witticism, but will send a revised copy to the powers that be. Thanks!

[spatch]

Bios are always fun, especially if you avoid the hilarious "in his spare time, he enjoys writing about himself in the third person" joke that someone else always uses, too, so if you use it as well, boy are you both are gonna look silly.

I once described myself as having a control-alto-delbasso voice.

When I started at T@F, I irreverently placed at the end "He lives in Somerville with two cats, six computers and his collection of empty soda bottles." Each subsequent production listed a different collection: empty Little Debbie Snack Cake boxes, empty Chinese takeout containers, and finally "theater programs that list his collections of empty containers."

Once depleted of humor nuggets, that particular mine was abandoned. I also got sick of using different words for "...is $FEELING to be back on the stage again..." once I used "pleased as punch" and "happier'n a happy guy who's happy."

The shortest bio I ever submitted was rejected. It went like this:

DER SPATCHEL (Sir Lord Harvey Whatever) was the winner in this year's Good Loser Contest. Actually, he came in second, but he said that was okay because the other guy really deserved to win.

Nowadays I plug my past and future projects and mention that I like root beer.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

The best part of that bio is that every word is absolutely true. I also have two versions of my resume, one for regular folks which includes worthwhile anecdotes, and one for MFAs which doesn't have the least bit of entertainment value.