Songs I don't like:

That Celine Dion song about her hips not lying is almost as irritating about that Paula Abdul song a couple of years ago about turning off the light.

Thank you for your attention.

LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLEE!!

I dropped a line to the wife of the Grizzlies' current PA announcer, John Paul Stevenson, who happens to be the executive producer at the theatre where Oliver! will be opening on Friday, and asked if she could provide any details on the situation or pointers for the audition. She replied that the best advice was not to imitate John Paul, but to relax and enjoy the game.

That's good advice, but not nearly as good advice as to avoid making untoward remarks about the parentage or criminal records of any members of the opposing team over the PA system.

In any case, I'm looking over the audition script, and notice that Damon Stoudmire is listed as "guard" and Mike Miller is listed as "the other guard." Similarly, Eddie Jones is "one forward" and Pau Gasol is "the other forward."

I'll be shouting the audition script into my cellphone later for a voice post, probably clipping out the mic. Get your criticizers started!

Voice Post: YOU HAVE TO SHOUT IF IT"S IN ALL CAPS, RIGHT?