Audition Advice from the Great and Wise Internets, which I probably won't take.

Auditioning for The Pillowman in an hour and a half. Which of the two versions of my resume should I use?

1. The one that has my acting and directing experience, or
2. The one that has my acting and directing experience, plus the following amazing true facts:

• Featured on "The Show With Ze Frank" January 25, 2007
• Was served fish skin, chicken beak, and assorted internal parts of a cow while in China. Consumed some of these
• Invented CNS rolls, and once won Mick Vinson's dog in a contest to create a drink named a "Virgin Violator"
• Once ran into George Plimpton on Sixth Avenue in New York. Was later told my a mutual friend that the proper greeting for George Plimpton is "Kiss My Left Buttock"
• Was upstaged by a cockroach in 1991. Accidentally drank a cockroach in 1988. Really dislikes cockroaches.