A riddle?

What has two thumbs and sang the wrong verse to his song in front of a preview audience last night?

It really could be useful one day.

When I do a show with a cast of, say, 5, I can afford to get them something of actual value as an opening-night gift, like a cheap-ass bottle of wine. When the cast size goes up, and we have an orchestra, I've got to rely on crappy homemade presents. Like the little pamphlet I created, with the kind assistance of Google Translate:

( It's full of in-jokes. )