LIALJ

[fancycwabs]

Dear Scarlet Johannson,

There's a long tradition of folks covering Tom Waits songs, from The Ramones doing "I Don't Wanna Grow Up" to Norah Jones doing "The Long Way Home" to Rod Stewart and Mary Chapin Carpenter doing "Downtown Train" to Clay Aiken doing "Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis." By and large, most of these folks have done an admirable job, capturing the weariness of Waits' voice and the downtrodden beauty of the lyrics while making the songs their own.

That said, combining the worst of 80's synth-pop with unemotive vocals? What were you thinking, beyond "This is SURE to get me onto the next Golden Throats album?"

Still thinking of you lustfully, as long as you don't sing,

Fancycwabs.

Comments

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

Isn't that HORRIBLE? I want to smack her for subjecting us all to that.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

You, of all the people on my friendslist, have the most opportunity to make that dream a reality. You'd probably lose your job, so I'm not going to encourage it, but I'd certainly understand if you did it.

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

Heeee. Mine is an evil smirk.

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

I've only heard one track, and thus far I'm dismayed. There's nothing wrong with Scarlett's voice really, but what in fuck's name was her producer (David Sitek) thinking? He drowned her vocals in a barrel of Ny-Quil and synthesizers. It's like they paid zero attention to what made the songs work in the first place.

Beyond sheer hubris, I don't know why people attempt Waits cover albums. The best one yet is by John Hammond Jr., and it's simply passable.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

It may be the "if one song is good, twelve will be twelve times as good!" theory. The same thing that drives Hollywood remakes of classic films where you can't possibly live up to the original.

[dimloep-suum.livejournal.com]

Yeah, we're just not gonna discuss her cover of "I Don't Wanna Grow Up." Ever.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

The fact that that song, with implications of knowledge of struggle and hard living, was even selected for inclusion rings of really poor judgement on somebody's part.

There are plenty of Tom Waits songs that don't require a passing acquaintance with poverty and destitution to ring true--but there's a WHOLE bunch that do.