Time Cwabs!

[fancycwabs]

I seem to have gotten hold of a time machine, and have been using it to try to make a better future (future being the past more closely aligned to the present) for my friends. Anyone have a mission for me? So far I've tried to stop the Iraq war, and warned folks that the police might be coming for them by mistake, and to use nails instead of blowtorches when installing shingles, among other things.

Comments

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

I vote for smothering the future Leopold II of Belgium (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leopold_II_of_Belgium) in his cradle.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

While it appears that Leopold is already smothered by his beard, I can't go back and alter history any earlier than the first LJ entry of a given friend, alas.

I could go back and warn you that Chicago, while interesting, will ultimately a fruitless career endeavor, if you like.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Like Xine, I'm also having an AHA! moment.

No, that's okay. The changes I'd make in my own life would predate LJ.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Mine too, as it happens.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

When anyone at a party says, "What would you do differently if you woke up and you were 14 again?"

1. BE PISSED.
2. Everything.

BUT! One of the two friends I retain from that age moved to Houston when we were 15 and I know where Dingo used to hang out, so I could still totally get me some Dingo.

That makes me laugh.

[piemancer]

A HA! Now i understand!

You are a brilliant, brilliant Mr. Cwabs!

[crankyliberal.livejournal.com]

Yet I am still clueless.

Can you make me smarter by going back into time?

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I can...

[hemlock-martini.livejournal.com]

MARTY!

I mean...CWABS! I can't allow you to do this! You might end up fundamentally altering the flow of time, thus splintering the timeline and changing the future for the worse! Imagine a world run by an incompetent, C-grade president who starts pointless war after war, driving our economy straight into the toilet and making the rest of the world hate us! Imagine the bastard waiting to REPLACE him in the White House, who's even worse! I...it...uh...

You know what? Fuck it. Go back and stomp on some trilobites. Wait here, I'll get you my sledgehammer.

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

I SAY AGAIN!

Nails are for homes that will be lived in and permanent. Adhesive is for sets that need to be changed frequently. :P

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Any glue that requires a blowtorch to set probably gets the carpenters, electricians, boom
mic operator, and craft services high as a friggin' kite to begin with.

Which probably explains it.

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

Actually, Mr. Cwabs did that with his DeLorean treads. Little known fact.

[redtheblue.livejournal.com]

Will you please jump ahead and make sure the stuff I'm doing now is a good idea? That would help.

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

What you said in your subsequent post. Totally.