Scattered, Smothered, and Wedded.

[fancycwabs]

If you don't live in the South, you might not have ever experienced a Waffle House--it's nothing particularly special, but it IS distinctive (Distinctive enough that there's a Homestar Runner main page devoted to it). I guess it was inevitable that there would one day be a Waffle House Wedding, where every awful Southern stereotype comes unironically to fruition.

ETA: I was going to try to link to the Waffle House Jukebox classic "Special Lady at The Waffle House," but I haven't found an mp3 of the original. F.Y.P. apparently has done a punk cover of it, however.

Comments

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

I put hot sauce on them and crumbled little bits of bacon into them, and they tasted lots like bacon and hot sauce, which rocked because...bacon and hot sauce.

I now await the GRITS UR DOING IT RONG commentary.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Nope, that works just fine for me. Crumbled bacon is the premier way of making poorly-prepared grits palatable.

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

Ah, good. I'm glad I had it right all along, because I know there are rules for these things.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

There are indeed. For instance:

• Maple syrup is an abomination.
• It is inappropriate to throw grits on Al Green, even if you think he should marry you.
• Grits should not be prepared with day-old hot dog water.

[roman-mclaze.livejournal.com]

I agree on all three points.

However, FRIED grits are good with syrup:

1) Put leftover grits (non-soupy kind) in the fridge

2) Next morning, mix them with some egg, and slap them in a greased skillet.

3) fry on both sides until they form small "cakes".

4) Serve hot.