How to outsmart the TSA with SCIENCE!

[fancycwabs]

Now that the TSA is discriminating against phases of matter, We am pleased to announce our new business venture for business travellers looking to bring liquids onto aeroplanes. For a modest fee, We are willing to use our HIGHLY TECHNICAL SCIENTIFIC PHASE-O-TRON to TEMPORARILY CONVERT your LIQUIDS into SOLIDS for your travel needs.

Do you require toothpaste at your destination? Using the PHASE-O-TRON, I can convert your liquid tooth cleaning product into SOLID DENTIFRICE CUBES, which can easily pass through the TSA screening process.

Need water to live? With our technology, we can TRANSMUTE WATER into DIAMOND-LIKE CRYSTALS which you can bring in a SPECIAL INSULATED JEWELRY BOX, undetectable by the TSA.

Do you require large doses of Ethanol to make it through the flight with the Hellspawn screaming and kicking your seat? With our ADVANCED ENGELINATOR, we can CONCEAL VAST QUANTITIES OF DELICIOUS VODKA inside FRUIT-FLAVORED SOLID WIGGLY CUBES, suitable for onboard consumption.

Don't let the TERRORISTS win! Your rights to HYGIENE, and REFRESHMENT, and SELF-MEDICATION is what this country was founded on!

Comments

[garoux.livejournal.com]

"Do you require large doses of Ethanol to make it through the flight with the Hellspawn screaming and kicking your seat? With our ADVANCED ENGELINATOR, we can CONCEAL VAST QUANTITIES OF DELICIOUS VODKA inside FRUIT-FLAVORED SOLID WIGGLY CUBES, suitable for onboard consumption."

Oh, like THAT will ever catch on. Vodka in fruity gelatin. Now you're talking crazy talk.

[hemlock-martini.livejournal.com]

OH SNAP I just realized 75% of my BODY is composed of fluids! They're going to have to break me down into a powder and rehydrate me upon arrival, like in the Batman Movie.

With my luck, I'd get my powder mixed up with the smelly guy sitting next to me and I'd arrive in Tucson looking like Brundlefly Does Casual Sportswear.

[acsumama.livejournal.com]

I love the word "dentifrice."