What personal space?

[fancycwabs]

Dear Miss Manners,

I go to church this morning, arrive a little early, and sit mostly in the middle of one of the pews. There's a family of three sitting maybe ten feet away on my right, and nothing but vast empty pew for twenty feet to my left. The church begins to fill up, as much as it can fill up on a non-holiday Sunday, which is to say about 1/3 full.

An older (60s? 70s?) couple walks in and moves onto the pew where I'm sitting, and the wife moves all the way down and sits about six inches away from me. Then she half-stands, and scoots to within about three inches of me. Then she repeats the motion, and scoots to where she's actually physically touching me. With her old lady smell and everything.

Would it have been appropriate to stand up and chastise her? Move quickly away? Freak? As it was, I waited for the first opportunity to stand in the service, and took one giant step to the right--moving three feet down. When we sat down again, she scooted some more, but couldn't close the gap.

Also, the liturgist forgot the Lord's Prayer.

Yours, Fancycwabs.

Comments

[mybadhairlife.livejournal.com]

Don't worry, scooting over like that just means that she wanted you to french-kiss her during the sign of peace, that's all. Have respect for your elders and comply!

- Miss Manners.

[fastlearner.livejournal.com]

I think a quietly voiced "Good morning, ma'am, I hope you're well this morning? Yes? God bless you," would work just fine. If you didn't want her so close you could add, "I'm sorry, I'm feeling a little uncomfortable this morning, would you mind giving me a little extra space? Thank you so much."

I suspect it's got to be a tough life, wanting so badly to be near someone, maybe to feel a little less lonely, a little more loved.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

Isn't that her husband's job? Children? Grandchildren?

Nope. Next time I'm speaking in tongues.

Is repeating "Klatuu Barada Nikto" over and over considered speaking in tongues?

[fastlearner.livejournal.com]

Not sure who's job it is there. What do the teachings of your church say?

Yours,
Debbie Downer

[bigbrownhound.livejournal.com]

I am imagining a chase scene of scooting around the church by standing and taking one giant step at a time and then reseating then being nuzzled by the little cedar smelling lady who thinks your huggable. Wash and repeat to Benny Hill music.

[asd109.livejournal.com]

I find coughing and sniffing loudly will make most people move away.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

But, but I was already sniffing loudly! I could have sneezed two tablespoons of glop right there!

[piemancer]

Could you have been sitting in their spot? Part of why i'm a music liturgust is becasue i know that, if i'm standing up at the front of the church, i won't inadvertantly sit in somebody's spot.

[box-of-rocks.livejournal.com]

Picture this: 2 15/16 year old kids with no driver's licenses go to the movie theater on a weekend afternoon. Remarkably, the entire theater is empty, so the kids are free to make out during the whole movie without bothering anyone. Alas! At the last minute an older man comes and sits right next to the kids, in the back of the theater, even though he has THE REST OF THE THEATER to choose from. And the teens did wail and gnash their teeth in dispair.

[loree-borealis.livejournal.com]

This is why I try to arrive late to these sorts of things (church, movies, lectures, what have you). Then I know nobody will come in after me and sit too close, or sit in front of me.