[Tiny Filter] Update on the bad situation:

[fancycwabs]

I was off sick for part of the day yesterday, and while I was at home I installed some spyware removal software on our son's (our son comes to visit on the weekends) computer. While doing so, I checked his surfing history, and discovered (amongst the porn--he is a fifteen-year-old) that someone had hit the burning man site and checked ticket prices on the Jan 16. Today I asked her if she'd bought tickets, and she said she had. I am assuming she's bought tickets for herself and her girlfriend (who has gone before), whom I also assume has taken my place in her heart, and possibly between her legs.

I cannot think of a single reason (save my marriage vow, which I take seriously) not to file for divorce. Amy has shown no indication that she's interested in reconciliation, but instead that she just wants to stay at the house so our daughter can remain in her school. As soon as that happens, I'm afraid she's going to leave me, saddled with a ton of debt that she's currently charging up.

Any of you lawyerly types of folks who've gone through this before have any advice on protecting myself?

UPDATE: We've talked a little. She has an explanation for the ticket, at least, and still claims that she's not cheating on me.

Comments

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

A coworker's wife is a lawyer who does divorce work, and I've asked him to have her give me a call. Mrs. Cwabs isn't answering her phone at the moment. Because of her irresponsibility with credit in the past, most of our major debt is in my name, including both of our cars, the house, etc. I'm thinking I need to set up a separate checking account, cancel credit cards, protect things ASAP. Does that sound reasonable?

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

Yeah, set up a separate account in your name, at the very least. Although if you're in a joint property state, you'll still have to give her access while you're still married. Canceling cards is a good way to go as well, or at the very least temporarily closing them.

But, again, I'm not a lawyer, and if this does go down, and you're "hiding assets" you could get in a buttload of trouble. So tread cautiously.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

At the moment there are no assets to hide. Our bank account is practically empty, our credit cards are largely in dangerous territory, I've got some money in an old 401K, as does she (I think the balances on those are about even), we have equity in the house and the contents thereof, and a car each, although both are in my name. I'd like to make repairs on the house (once I can afford them given our significant debt), sell it, split the proceeds, and move on. She makes a little bit more than I do--although I don't know what difference that makes in re: alimony etc.

[cheezdanish.livejournal.com]

That sort of thing won't matter if she gets herself an attack lawyer. Guys usually end up with the short end of the stick in this sort of situation. All it'll take will be you siphoning off some funds for your own use while you're still married, and that could get you in legal hot water.

Not that I'm trying to scare you, sorry. If it's all in your name (I had a similar thing when my divorce went down), then you should be able to salvage the house and cars, at least.

I'm also seconding what Owlet suggested. Take a few days away from this, at the very least. With somebody you trust.

*hugs*