Why can't things ever be easy?

[fancycwabs]

I haven't written much about my falling-apart marriage, because there's not been much to write about. Several weeks ago I told Amy that I'd spoken to an attorney, and that seemed to get through to her. She starred coming home, communicating, helping out around the house. She still behaved mysteriously with regard to her "friend," but since she maintained that there was nothing going on between them I guess she felt justified.

About a month ago, she stayed out all night, supposedly with our daughter. Easter Sunday, she vanished before I woke up and didn't get home until nearly eight pm. Last Saturday, she met a friend for "drinks" and ended up staying out all night. Tonight she turned down an invitation to go out with me, and just sent me a text message saying she wouldn't be home until noon tomorrow.

I guess the statement "I talked to a divorce lawyer" doesn't mean what it used to mean. My options seem to be to either admit I was bluffing, which I wasn't, or follow through with the unpleasantness to come. Neither path seems particularly bright in the cold darkness of 2:30 am Memphis, but this situation cannot continue indefinitely. Although I'm sure Amy would be just fine with that.

Keep me in your thoughts. I don't have a lot of real life friends, and most of those I have are unaware of the situation, because they know and deal with both of us, so y'all are my primary support network. No pressure.

Gonna try to get some sleep.

Comments

[hemlock-martini.livejournal.com]

*sigh*

I hate to say it, but if you ask me, I think you may need to step this up to the next phase.

You deserve far better treatment than this from someone who you love, and who entered into marriage with you with the knowledge that it is an equal partnership in which both parties deserve respect.

Stay strong for yourself. You are in the right.

[garoux.livejournal.com]

Still thinking about you, man. Stay strong.

[garoux.livejournal.com]

Oh...by the way, I don't want to tell you what to do in your relationship, because I only know one side of the story...but from what you have told us, I think that going further is the only option right now.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

There's the option of sacrificing myself and my sanity by staying home and keeping my mouth shut while she recaptures her inner ZTA--the thing she gave up when she got married the first time, and then didn't get to enjoy during the two years between marriages.

I'm sure she's got a side of the story to tell. I've not really heard it, because I can't distinguish what little truth there is from the vast collection of lies.

I know she's happiest when she's not with me. I represent responsibility, moderation, things that are kinds the church social concept of fun. Her friends are all bohemian, free love, consciousness alteration, consequences be damned sorta folks. That's a very enticing siren's song for a girl with whatever the female equivalent of peter pan syndrome is. (Sandy Duncan syndrome?)

[skatiemom.livejournal.com]

Drat, I'd hoped the silence about the divorce meant things had improved. Phooey. You have loads of support up here, feel free to vent on Google Talk or text or phone. Or just share random stuff.

I hope you got some sleep.

[piemancer]

Ya, me too.

[crankyliberal.livejournal.com]

I'm thinking about you and hoping for the best. I also want to slap your wife upside the head, but that is neither mature, useful or feasible.

Keep us posted.

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

Take care of yourself.

[box-of-rocks.livejournal.com]

*thinking good thoughts for you*

[mybadhairlife.livejournal.com]

It sounds like you have to move on for your own peace of mind.

Based on what you've said, I think you'll be one of those people who finds that separation sucks donkey balls in the short term (dealing with the loss emotionally, fighting, facing the financial fall-out). However, two years from now? You'll be amazed at how happy you are and wishing you'd got it over with sooner.

For whatever reason, your wife has checked out on this marriage. There's almost nothing you can do other than live with it or end it.

[loree-borealis.livejournal.com]

Disclaimer: I am the sort of person who makes sense of the world by projecting motivations on people. I'm willing to revise my projections as I get more information, but here's what I've come up with for your wife: maybe she behaved better temporarily because she was relieved you'd taken the first steps toward something she knows is coming but she's not enough of a grown-up to do herself. Maybe she's behaving poorly again because she senses you've let up on the follow-through.

Whatever the reason, hang in there. *aurafluff*