Why can't things ever be easy?

[fancycwabs]

I haven't written much about my falling-apart marriage, because there's not been much to write about. Several weeks ago I told Amy that I'd spoken to an attorney, and that seemed to get through to her. She starred coming home, communicating, helping out around the house. She still behaved mysteriously with regard to her "friend," but since she maintained that there was nothing going on between them I guess she felt justified.

About a month ago, she stayed out all night, supposedly with our daughter. Easter Sunday, she vanished before I woke up and didn't get home until nearly eight pm. Last Saturday, she met a friend for "drinks" and ended up staying out all night. Tonight she turned down an invitation to go out with me, and just sent me a text message saying she wouldn't be home until noon tomorrow.

I guess the statement "I talked to a divorce lawyer" doesn't mean what it used to mean. My options seem to be to either admit I was bluffing, which I wasn't, or follow through with the unpleasantness to come. Neither path seems particularly bright in the cold darkness of 2:30 am Memphis, but this situation cannot continue indefinitely. Although I'm sure Amy would be just fine with that.

Keep me in your thoughts. I don't have a lot of real life friends, and most of those I have are unaware of the situation, because they know and deal with both of us, so y'all are my primary support network. No pressure.

Gonna try to get some sleep.

Comments

[garoux.livejournal.com]

Still thinking about you, man. Stay strong.

[garoux.livejournal.com]

Oh...by the way, I don't want to tell you what to do in your relationship, because I only know one side of the story...but from what you have told us, I think that going further is the only option right now.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

There's the option of sacrificing myself and my sanity by staying home and keeping my mouth shut while she recaptures her inner ZTA--the thing she gave up when she got married the first time, and then didn't get to enjoy during the two years between marriages.

I'm sure she's got a side of the story to tell. I've not really heard it, because I can't distinguish what little truth there is from the vast collection of lies.

I know she's happiest when she's not with me. I represent responsibility, moderation, things that are kinds the church social concept of fun. Her friends are all bohemian, free love, consciousness alteration, consequences be damned sorta folks. That's a very enticing siren's song for a girl with whatever the female equivalent of peter pan syndrome is. (Sandy Duncan syndrome?)