[tiny filter] Sadness.

[fancycwabs]

Christmas is Thursday. Unfortunately, with my divorce case in limbo with no hearing rescheduled, less daylight, lack of companionship, and awful memories from Christmas a year ago and the year since (since years-end is a traditional time of taking stock--I've lost a lot in 2008), I feel as if I'm fighting a losing battle with depression. I'm hoping that I'll get some sort of good news somewhere over the next few days, otherwise I'm going to be perfectly miserable company over the holidays, and my family has historically had low levels of patience and sympathy for the suffering. My head knows that the situation will eventually improve--spring will come, I'll feel like moving again, other relationships will ensue, I won't have to worry about the mountain of debt, I'll fix and sell the house--but right now I'm feeling pretty fucking alone, and basically valueless. Sadly, from knowing how much I want to be around depressed, self-absorbed friends, I've got a pretty good idea how much fun I am to be around at the moment, too. And the cycle repeats.

Comments

[loree-borealis.livejournal.com]

When shit legitimately sucks, that's a good time to cut yourself some slack and let yourself wallow. Put on some Morrissey or equivalent, get a blankie and a pile of sad movies to watch, and just go to town.

But if you feel yourself sliding past the no-turning-back point, please call me or some other friend for a chat. People love you, Cwabs. *hugs*

P.S. Thank you for the card! :)

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

If it ever gets too close to the brink, I'll be sure and get actual professional help. As it is, having friends who are patient and don't get exhausted by occasionally propping me up over the interwebs is helping out immensely. Thanks!

[loree-borealis.livejournal.com]

*props*