[tiny filter] Sadness.

[fancycwabs]

Christmas is Thursday. Unfortunately, with my divorce case in limbo with no hearing rescheduled, less daylight, lack of companionship, and awful memories from Christmas a year ago and the year since (since years-end is a traditional time of taking stock--I've lost a lot in 2008), I feel as if I'm fighting a losing battle with depression. I'm hoping that I'll get some sort of good news somewhere over the next few days, otherwise I'm going to be perfectly miserable company over the holidays, and my family has historically had low levels of patience and sympathy for the suffering. My head knows that the situation will eventually improve--spring will come, I'll feel like moving again, other relationships will ensue, I won't have to worry about the mountain of debt, I'll fix and sell the house--but right now I'm feeling pretty fucking alone, and basically valueless. Sadly, from knowing how much I want to be around depressed, self-absorbed friends, I've got a pretty good idea how much fun I am to be around at the moment, too. And the cycle repeats.

Comments

[snowy-owlet.livejournal.com]

YOU NEED SOME EXERCISE.

For real: I hate exercise, but it will both clear your head AND wear you out so that you can get some restful sleep.

You're entitled to feel bad about all the shit that has gone down for you this year, but if you want to feel better, exercise will help.

I have also found St. John's Wort (an herb, available at the drug store) and Bach's Rescue Remedy (a hoodoo flower remedy, available at the health food store) to be really helpful at taking the edge off.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

I DO need some exercise.