[tiny filter] Sadness.

[fancycwabs]

Christmas is Thursday. Unfortunately, with my divorce case in limbo with no hearing rescheduled, less daylight, lack of companionship, and awful memories from Christmas a year ago and the year since (since years-end is a traditional time of taking stock--I've lost a lot in 2008), I feel as if I'm fighting a losing battle with depression. I'm hoping that I'll get some sort of good news somewhere over the next few days, otherwise I'm going to be perfectly miserable company over the holidays, and my family has historically had low levels of patience and sympathy for the suffering. My head knows that the situation will eventually improve--spring will come, I'll feel like moving again, other relationships will ensue, I won't have to worry about the mountain of debt, I'll fix and sell the house--but right now I'm feeling pretty fucking alone, and basically valueless. Sadly, from knowing how much I want to be around depressed, self-absorbed friends, I've got a pretty good idea how much fun I am to be around at the moment, too. And the cycle repeats.

Comments

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

*hug*

And seriously, get moving. It's important. I realised the other day just how really, really weird I felt, and that it came from having been sat around and driven around since we got to VA, and I just had to go out and walk somewhere.

As soon as you've sorted the debt out, you must come see us in Prague and we'll take your mind off it.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

It was too fookin' coold to get out and walk outdoors yesterday, but I DID go to the gym for an hour and am feeling significantly less weepy today.

Hopefully the mountain of debt will be considerably more manageable once bonus time comes in March, although I've no idea about the horrors tax time will bring.

I should sell the house and join the expat community, 'cause Pat's an asshole.

[phonemonkey.livejournal.com]

The expat community is by no means asshole-deficient, I hafta warn you.

[fancycwabs.livejournal.com]

I never doubted that for a second. I could open up Prague's greatest barbecue restaurant to FEED all those assholes.